Yesterday was pretty bad and not because I stayed home and did nothing for once. First off we had a work meeting and even though all signs pointed to it going badly I wasn’t really prepared for how badly it went. I ended up getting into an argument about staffing with my boss and area manager which included them suggesting I transfer stores and plenty of other condescending shit. It hell through me off and while I smoothed things over later it’s still bothering me now. After that I ended up handing in my resume to noodle box haha. Then I went into the city to go to friend’s. I smoked and drank before we left for the show and somehow it like really effected me and I was pretty out of it. When we got to the show one of our friends had a anxiety attack and couldn’t go in which sucked but even worse was how that made my own anxiety skyrocket. So I go in and sure enough there she is with her new boyfriend no less. She looked at me then quickly looked away but I stared right at her, I hate how she makes me feel so much. So I spent the rest of the night disassociating and being a weird stoned mess, touché Amore and turnover were both great I just found it so hard to get into them. Lucky another one of my friends was there and I hung out with him for a bit after which got my mind of things slightly. I’m still alive today, no thanks to you bitch.
Wanna hear the super exciting thing I did all day til it was time for work? I cleaned out my computer! Moved all the files into places I can find them and organised everything, sounds boring but I had music and shit with it so it was actually a relief. Work was dead as hell which was boring but honestly no worries. I’m hoping I can sleep tonight because last night was shocking.
Today I just did like nothing like I played video games and listened to the new DJ Khaled album and oh jesus christ not good noooot good. Lucky the new 2 Chainz and Denzel Curry were both pretty sick and kind of washed the disappointment away slightly. Went to the gym finally and tried some new things that don’t exacerbate this damn wrist injury so much, thinking of caving and going to the doctors for it.
Today was a laugh, I went to the city because I desperately wanted to be away from the house and I ate a pretty mediocre burger and bought the new Lorde album and Injustice 2 then went home. While I was home I hit up a friend and we ended up chilling at Tea Tree Plaza for a bit just shootin’ the shit as you do, was great though he’s a good dude to talk to. Once I got home I was like okey dokey let’s give Injustice a spin and I shit you not I just got done finishing the entire single player, yeah it’s short, but I still spent like four hours on it at least hahah oh man.
Today I finished up my assignment and played video games properly for the first time in ages which put me more at ease than I have been in ages. I’m kind of feeling gross and fat though but it’s like the world wants me to not exercise with this illness and my buggered wrist. I finally wrote up my May edition of In Review on my other blog which I’ll just sneakily plug here.
Today started out gross because I had my essay to worry about and a long night shift ahead but the a girl called me and talked to me about her day and stuff and it really made me feel okay. On top of that there was just so much good music out today like new Lorde (which is amazing) and a new QOTSA single. Work was insanely busy and I’m worried I’m going to get in trouble for missing stuff but god damn I had no time. Work is just shit in general fuck management it’s a joke. I feel like I’m getting a cold but I pray it’s only small.
Today/tonight was pretty good because I got to see smith street band with ceres and Joyce manor. Went with two super cute girls which bolstered the experience substantially, but regardless the bands were all sick with Ceres probably stealing the show early on with an amazing emotional performance. Smith street’s mosh was nuts and they were also excellent, I caught one of that members of Joyce as I was leaving and we chatted for a while which was pretty sick, I came off as not an awkward weirdo which is dope. After that I went to a friends birthday party which was in the middle of winding down as I arrived but the friend in question was so fucked he tried to fight his bin then his own floor which was pretty funny. I thought I saw her eyes as I entered the party but by the time I came round to that side of the yard she was gone so I might’ve been tripping.
Okay so my eyes are stinging for sleep. Today I jammed a whole bunch of music and didn’t do nearly enough homework. Span the Joyce Manor Self Titled in the car and fuck yeah I love it then I went to work and was busy but manageable all night. I’m feeling okay and keeping that psychosis depression bullshit at bay, give me a medal.
Today I mostly worked on those uni assignments, I’m pretty stressed about them though I don’t know how I’m going to manage especially considering I’m going out Saturday but I’ll have to figure it out. I’ve been pretty okay, I bought some cds including the new Paramore album which is insanely catchy and is helping me to keep positive. I long for the day where I’m not slipping in and out of sadness but at least it’s back and forth for now and not just flat out doom and gloom.
For some reason I spent a majority of today in a real shitty, gloomy headspace. I mean it probably has a lot to do with not doing anything all day, the one person I reached out to ignored me all day so that was cool. Went to the pub for tea and ate way too much but went to gym so hopefully that compensated for it somewhat. I know next week I’ll feel better than this I just wish there was a way I could pull myself out of this mindset. Been listening to good music all day at least, new J Hus album, Mountain Goats and all those Brockhampton singles hoo boy.