08/07/17

Today was great I went and got a haircut in preparation ¬†for the trip next week hoping it’s at peak sexy length by the time I leave. Then I went to the movies to see Baby Driver which was everything I wanted it to be and more I loved it so much. I think it was a date with this girl but eh it was so rushed and stuff and I’m an awkward mess and I get such mixed signals so idk at least the movie was amazing. Feeling dejected I jumped at the chance to go to town and have drinks with my favourite boys and yeah I’m feeling good from chats and laughs with them.

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24/06/17

Late one this time because I got home at like 5am last night. Yesterday I didn’t do all that much during the day just walked the dog and played some more Injustice 2. At about 8pm I caught an Uber to a friend’s house where we were meant to be having pres but said pres lasted until like 12pm haha, not that I care cheaper than spending money in town. When we got to town we went to Dog and Ducks which was expensive and packed but I went with it and ended up having some fun dancing and laughing. When we left two of my friends who are a couple were arguing all the way from town until we got back home. I was waiting for them to chill out so I could say bye and leave but the tensions were high so I kinda just snuck out. All things considered though still a good night.

10/06/17

Today/tonight was pretty good because I got to see smith street band with ceres and Joyce manor. Went with two super cute girls which bolstered the experience substantially, but regardless the bands were all sick with Ceres probably stealing the show early on with an amazing emotional performance. Smith street’s mosh was nuts and they were also excellent, I caught one of that members of Joyce as I was leaving and we chatted for a while which was pretty sick, I came off as not an awkward weirdo which is dope. After that I went to a friends birthday party which was in the middle of winding down as I arrived but the friend in question was so fucked he tried to fight his bin then his own floor which was pretty funny. I thought I saw her eyes as I entered the party but by the time I came round to that side of the yard she was gone so I might’ve been tripping.

02/06/17

Today was pretty okay I worked out an interview for my uni assignment and eh not much else until work. The damn SDA movie night was tonight so I had to deal with that bullshit but luckily it quietened down afterwards. After work I went to see the old friends I’ve been seeing a lot lately I got drunk but not too drunk and we talked a lot about deep meaningful shit which I missed so much when I didn’t see them for a while. I’m honestly kind of thrown off right now because I saw a snapchat with her face in it, smiling, sent by a guy who I knew was seedy but is now definitely off my trust list lmao. It’s sickening because it feels like a slap in the face, it’s not her fault, but I just don’t want to know about her life or her general existence the small snippets I can’t avoid are enough for me. It’s never not going to hurt and her not giving a fuck always makes it worse. I hope to God she isn’t there next week, in fact, if there is a small chance you read this Chantelle, please don’t be there next week, I have my lane, you have yours.

Edit 04/06:

Hate myself for using her name and seeming controlling, but it’s better I get that bullshit out on here than take it out in real life I guess.

20/05/17

Writing this at 3am on my friends couch. Went out real early today to catch a mates band play an in store show at Levi’s. can’t stress the levels of social anxiety I had knowing no one else there, it went away when they played though. From there I went to the cranka which again was awkward because I was alone. Saw a couple bands then a mate joined me and we started chatting. We ended up talking heaps as it got on into night and we got dinner together at a Chinese place, still full from that actually. From there we went to enigma to watch a mate play an adtr cover set which was looooose. At that mates house now actually, kinda anxious because I can’t contact mum and dad but eh what do ya do.

19/05/17

Writing this while still slightly inebriated, don’t mind me. Today was a pain in the dickhole, woke up early got everything sorted expected to interview an important guys (at my house now less) and he has to cancel though it was because his dog was sick which super sucks and I can’t blame him. Spent the rest of the day kind of mopey until I had a friend’s birthday party. Didn’t want to go because the guy I was meant to go with was away but I bit the bullet and went anyway and while the first hour was a bit awkward I felt that I found my footing and ended up enjoying myself. Got a lift home and some solid banter with a real top dude who is fun to chat to so that’s cool too. Read something I wish I didn’t since I got home though which sucks, but fuck it, I don’t care, my life is better, and I am better. I wrote a poem while in a mope.

Because your heart is a diamond babe
And the men come in droves
To wretch it from your chest
Be it by money or rose

But when they finally seize it from you
and hold it in their hand
They will throw it away
to the next man

Because your heart may be a diamond babe
protected by a lock
But when shines in their hand
They learn a diamond is still a rock

got like fuck all likes on instagram but I like it so whatever.