Yesterday was pretty bad and not because I stayed home and did nothing for once. First off we had a work meeting and even though all signs pointed to it going badly I wasn’t really prepared for how badly it went. I ended up getting into an argument about staffing with my boss and area manager which included them suggesting I transfer stores and plenty of other condescending shit. It hell through me off and while I smoothed things over later it’s still bothering me now. After that I ended up handing in my resume to noodle box haha. Then I went into the city to go to friend’s. I smoked and drank before we left for the show and somehow it like really effected me and I was pretty out of it. When we got to the show one of our friends had a anxiety attack and couldn’t go in which sucked but even worse was how that made my own anxiety skyrocket. So I go in and sure enough there she is with her new boyfriend no less. She looked at me then quickly looked away but I stared right at her, I hate how she makes me feel so much. So I spent the rest of the night disassociating and being a weird stoned mess, touché Amore and turnover were both great I just found it so hard to get into them. Lucky another one of my friends was there and I hung out with him for a bit after which got my mind of things slightly. I’m still alive today, no thanks to you bitch.



Today was ugh just wandered around feeling gross then went to work which was slow gross but not as busy. My friend replied and I didn’t fuck anything which is a huge relief but to add to a bit of stress my ex will be going to the touché Amore show next week and I’m gonna be sick until I get that out the way cya. 


Today sucked because I was agitated about last night for most of it. Don’t get me wrong I had a great time but I think I might have damaged my relationship with a realgood friend and that hurts. Work also sucked as usual so busy and the person on before me did a pretty bad job of cleaning and keeping things under control. Pretty depressed but my holiday is soon at least. 


Today was meh just hung out then went to work which was a big busy shitty headfuck then on my way home I had so many interruptions. I’m really frustrated at how little I’ve exercised lately and how shitty I’ve been eating due to circumstances. Like I’ve waited so long for my wrist to get better and it feels okay but whenever I put it under press it’s like nope then there’s that piss weak cold and ughhhh I hate it, I’m demotivated as it is without all these mitigating factors. 


Today I met up with my program director to work out how I’m going to finish this damn course. She set up a plan for me which was nice but I don’t finish until this time next year which isn’t nice. I’m kind of upset but at least I finally know when I’m done. Didn’t do much else today still in a weird headspace, need socialisation. 


Sorry I’m late guys ended up staying up for way too long and just couldn’t will myself to write anything. Yesterday and even today to an extent I’m feeling kind of dazed and ambivalent to the world around me floating in and out of being depressed and just plain ol’ disconnected. I had a 3 hour night shift at work and somehow it still felt like 5 working alone sucks. I also have like no weekend this week thanks babes xx.