Today was great I spent the day buying a new sleeping bag and getting packed up for tomorrow. I had a friend’s bday thing tonight and somehow I became the deso driver which put my anxiety on edge because I’m not confident driving but hey it worked out well. The boys and I went and got steak and waffles and mucked around Glenelg for a while chatting shit and being lame and it was just heaps of fun. So my anxiety is still kicking around of course but I just know I’m going to be okay.
Yesterday was pretty bad and not because I stayed home and did nothing for once. First off we had a work meeting and even though all signs pointed to it going badly I wasn’t really prepared for how badly it went. I ended up getting into an argument about staffing with my boss and area manager which included them suggesting I transfer stores and plenty of other condescending shit. It hell through me off and while I smoothed things over later it’s still bothering me now. After that I ended up handing in my resume to noodle box haha. Then I went into the city to go to friend’s. I smoked and drank before we left for the show and somehow it like really effected me and I was pretty out of it. When we got to the show one of our friends had a anxiety attack and couldn’t go in which sucked but even worse was how that made my own anxiety skyrocket. So I go in and sure enough there she is with her new boyfriend no less. She looked at me then quickly looked away but I stared right at her, I hate how she makes me feel so much. So I spent the rest of the night disassociating and being a weird stoned mess, touché Amore and turnover were both great I just found it so hard to get into them. Lucky another one of my friends was there and I hung out with him for a bit after which got my mind of things slightly. I’m still alive today, no thanks to you bitch.
Today I woke up in a bad mood but quickly got comfortable on the couch and watched Pineapple Express for the first time which cheered me up. After that I went to the gym for a bit but probably didn’t stay as long as I should have just because it was so crowded and I get anxious. When I got home there ended up being a blackout which sucked but it came back pretty quickly thank god, played Yahtzee in the meantime which was funny.
Today was ugh just wandered around feeling gross then went to work which was slow gross but not as busy. My friend replied and I didn’t fuck anything which is a huge relief but to add to a bit of stress my ex will be going to the touché Amore show next week and I’m gonna be sick until I get that out the way cya.
Writing this at 3am on my friends couch. Went out real early today to catch a mates band play an in store show at Levi’s. can’t stress the levels of social anxiety I had knowing no one else there, it went away when they played though. From there I went to the cranka which again was awkward because I was alone. Saw a couple bands then a mate joined me and we started chatting. We ended up talking heaps as it got on into night and we got dinner together at a Chinese place, still full from that actually. From there we went to enigma to watch a mate play an adtr cover set which was looooose. At that mates house now actually, kinda anxious because I can’t contact mum and dad but eh what do ya do.