Today started out okay but I found myself sinking into a sad spiral as it went on. I felt like I could’ve lost it again at work tonight, not because we’re busy or anything but just because I get way too deep inside my head and I feel so trapped and alone. At least when I’m home I can just go for a walk or even jerk off (lol sorry) but at work I just have my phone on mobile data and my iPod which can’t be too loud. Thankfully I messaged a sweet gal and she replied quite promptly which got my head out of that stupid hole. When I got home I took Czech for a walk which also helped clear my head. Working nights is definitely the catalyst to a lot of my really bad depression spells and it’s been a common thread for a lot of my worst moments this year, I wish I didn’t need this job or that I could at least have someone rostered with me to talk to. 


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