I’m an ugly waste of fucking space that isn’t worth anyone’s time or affection. The only person who ever gave a fuck about me chewed me up and spat me out like I was nothing in the end. I hate myself, I’m sick of trying, I wish I never existed. The only reason I’m not trying to kill myself right now is because I have to interview a guy tomorrow and I don’t want to ruin his day. I bet I’ll fuck that up too because I’m too mentally fucked to do anything right now. Jesus Christ why am I so unlikable.
Still awake, calming down, I think I might have depression for real because these feelings are getting out of control. I’m trying so hard not to lash out, not to freak out.
Today was seedy and dull, woke up at Liam’s then promptly went home. Watched takeover Chicago which was great. Work was eh there was this strange girl who I reckon was digging me but I could not trust her, too many red flags. Life sucks at the moment but I need to press on.